The Bay: About to Get Bootylicious

Following the sale of HBC two weeks ago to the fine folks at Lord and Taylor, rumours have been swirling that a mystery woman will be taking the reins: a mysterious, glamorous, female, Canadian.

But, as the Toronto Star asks, "Who is she?"

Either way the retail guru will have her hands full cleaning up what is easily one of the crappiest stores currently serving Canada. I think everyone can agree that in a marketplace with specialty shops like Gap, H&M, and Aritzia, The Bay has lots its way. It's gotten to the point where I can't even remember when the chain WAS glamorous; but I'm assured that by my parents (both retirees) that it was at some point (they just can't remember when either).

Sloppy displays, horrendus designs for Olympic Wear, snooty staff, limited sizes, out of date marketing: all issues that will have to be addressed if the chain is to revamp its image.

The good news is that Lord and Taylor is willing to pump a half-billion dollars into revitalizing the brand. Let's see if the money can work wonders.

And as for the mystery new CEO? My money's on Belinda Stronach...

Things Not Happening in Ottawa This Weekend: Chicago Edition

Welcome to Boystown! No, Seriously, that's the name of the Village here...

Friday Night

Roscoe’s - Wet Boxer Shorts Contest Contest held at midnight with major cash prizes to be one.

Jackhammer - Flesh Hungry Dog Show With performances by The Pussy Pirates, 8Inch Betsy and Hot Lips Messiah.

Hydrate Bar - Lube Wrestling Open to both professional dancers and audience members. Winners get major cash prizes and tickets to “A Salute to the American Musical Songbook” at Storefront Theater.

Saturday Night

Touche - Bear Night Underwear party hosted by the Great Lakes Bears.

Circuit Night Club - Christmas in August Featuring a visit by Santa Clause and DJs from Miami!

Sunday Night
Chicago Eagle - Beer Bust and Movie Night Featuring "Cabaret for a Cure" and "Maryoke" in Mary's Attic.

It's Official! Ottawa ranked Canada's "Least Sexy City"

After years of grumbling by yours truly, the good folks at FastLife Canada, who complied two years of research through the Internet and speed-dating results, have confirmed that Ottawa is indeed Canada's least sexy city.

According to the report, the least sexy neighbourhood in the entire country is Vanier - big surprise... imagine trying to make love while thoughts of home invasion or your parked car getting jacked run through your mind!

In his ever-vigilant protection of the city Mayor O'Brien, declaring the study "nonsense," cited the city's well-educated, discerning populace as the reason for the decidedly unsexy results.

The Mayor also distanced himself from the notion that a city of older, whiter, fatter, bald guys somehow lowered the desire for sexual contact in the capital.

Pornstars in Ottawa?!?!

Being proactive on my litnay of rants about how there's nothing to do in Ottawa, I've been working closely with a friend of mine who has opened a new bar (really classy place) on Elgin Street, and is open to doing gay events.

It always seems that clubs in Toronto and Montreal host porn stars, who put on a couple stage shows, do photos and autograph signings with the customers, and in general have some naughty fun. Well, if all goes according to plan, and things work out with travel sponsor, Ottawa might be playing host in late September to Chris Rockway and Reese Rideout from Randy Blue!







Here's the question to you my vigilant viewer. Would you attend? Would, say, $10 in cover be too much? Are Reese and Chris the right guys, or would someone else be better? What sort of show would you expect for your money? There's no stupid answers... just entertainment in the making!

Uhhh... What's the Name of this Club?

Uh oh. From the sounds of it "Sauna 63," the uninspired rebrand of Edge Sauna, has been doing just about as well as its predecessor - that is to say, not well at all.

Apparently while the decor is fabulous, and the space meticulously clean, the gay boys, and the bi-curious/straight men that love them, simply aren't showing up. Frankly (as I've stated in previous posts), I'm just not surprised.

The problem with Sauna 63 is a branding issue. The sauna just can't seem to figure out who it's intended demographic is. Twinks? Fat chance, they're too self conscious to show up unless it's Saturday night and they're overly drunk from Edge. Pigs? Nope, dirty, dirty men already go to Club Ottawa on Wellington St. People who are sick of Steamworks? Bingo, but they're not going to pay for admission if the word on the street is your venue has less attendance than a Eddie Murphy movie.



This is a time where Sauna 63 could act bold are really put itself out there in your face like Oasis in Montreal. Oasis has no shame in admitting that its a bathhouse, and actively encourages people to visit, with bold advertisements on its storefront.

Who'd want to visit some dirty, dingy hole in the ground where you need to knock three times on the door to be grants access? There's a reason why Montreal saunas are successful - it's because they are always full of guys, 24/7; and it's clean and accessible.

Sauna 63 should pull something big to capture the imagination of Ottawa fags. Advertise the hell out of it. Perhaps a free night, or a $2 locker rental on a Saturday evening. Either way it'll bring in more money than what they're currently getting, and keep yet another gay venue from shutting up shop.

Tan Lines for Gay Eyes

Question is - What is sexy, and what might be too much? ;)

Things Not Happening in Ottawa This Weekend: San Francisico Edition

A new segment here on Ottawa Boy Toy! Read about what's gay-happening in other major cities around the world. Maybe someone will "borrow" the better ideas for use here at home!


FRIDAY NIGHT

Boy Bar - Full Frontal Fridays in the Castro! Down Low GoGo Bros & Crazy Strong Cocktails, 28 and under only.

Lucky Pierre HomoElectricDisco - Strip Poker Night with Miss Trannyshack 2007 Coco Canal! Good music, Game Room, and even cuter boys!

SATURDAY NIGHT

The Transfer - Frisco Disco! DJ Richie Panic spins his eclectic-electro-punk-dancey best at this weekly hipster haven.

The Stud - Hot Mess! The sloppiest kids in town are colonizing the Stud for this new Saturday party, featuring drink specials for exhibitionists, live whipped-cream wrestling and Frat House DJ Kidd Sysko.

SUNDAY NIGHT

The Eagle Tavern - Sunday Beer Bust! Weekly $10 all-you-can-slug beer fest.

The Frathouse - College Night in the Castro! Come get a truckload of straight-acting twinks and the gayer gays who love them.